Twerking, derps and neknominations

 – Coming home

After two years away from home, there are a few things that I’ve fallen behind on. Talking with my family and peers I realise there is a lot that I don’t know about modern ‘culture’ since I’ve left.

Like, for example, Miley Cyrus going all crazy on us and twerking in her underwear at every opportunity.

‘What a shame! She was such a sweet girl!’ As my Grandmother said (or would have if she’d ever watched Hannah Montana.) Ah, the sad predictability of a child stars’ downfall.

To be fair, I probably could have kept up with stuff like this. If I really, really cared.

Interneting abroad is pretty difficult – in the Philippines, the connection was at best, incredibly bad. Most of the time it wasn’t strong enough to upload a single picture. Even sending/receiving emails could be sketchy. Bizarrely (there’s probably a scientific reason for this, science geeks?) I’ve heard the signal was much stronger early in the morning, which basically meant I wasn’t going to achieve anything online until I left the country.

What else have I missed? Little things, like queues. Going into the post office I was slightly overwhelmed by the organised barriers which feed people through a short, winding tour of the room until finally they are called forward by a number flashing on a big screen. In South East Asia, this would more or less have been an invitation to a scrum.

Scones, tea and cream? Yes please! Afternoon tea has become more or less a daily ritual since being back. Before I left it was a very occasional treat - never mind the calories, I’ve practically not stopped shivering since I arrived back anyway. How do you people survive in this coldness?

Do I feel like I’ve been left behind while everyone I left here has moved on?

Yes. So many of my friends seem to be doing something serious – babies, houses, marriage, careers. Although I’ve pretty much already rejected this lifestyle, sometimes a pang of regret at the studied stability of their lives hits me. A boring but dependable job? Same faces day in, day out? I must admit I found myself wanting this after listening to one of my friends talk about their job. Having said that, I can’t imagine lasting long in any type of atmosphere where working in flip flops/barefoot is not possible.

Will I get over this as soon as I have my next cocktail whilst gently swinging in a hammock on a tropical beach? Most probably.