Meet my families

Back when my real family was cute!

A family is an interesting concept, with many different opinions as to what makes one. Aristotle argues that 'the family is the association established by nature for the supply of man's everyday wants.' It's a pretty cold definition which might be expected from someone who's been dead for 2.something millennia. The OED defines a family as 'a group consisting of two parents and their children living together as a unit'. In my experience it's a collection of people you are very close to, but not necessarily biologically related to, usually sharing the same living area. They're generally difficult to live with and impossible not to have, especially when it's a bad time. 

I consider myself to be extremely fortunate. My biological family are literally the best I've ever had. Jokes aside, they're fantastic, and I wouldn't be who I am without their constant love, devotion and bundling. Not only do I have this brilliant group of tall people that are related to me by science, I've also inherited a few other families along the way.

A travelling family

With any type of travel, you will meet other travelers (excepting, possibly solo unassisted sailing, and travel outside our atmosphere...although nobody has convinced me yet that outside contact has not already happened out in space). In Asia, everyone and their grandmother wants to be your friend. Sometimes an abduction adoption can take mere minutes when your cab driver decides you really need to see this amazing local attraction/shop/restaurant - and other times it can be an experience that takes weeks, or months, but stays with you for years. Some of these situations can become just another part of a travellers' daily life - the woman sitting next to you at the station who is desperate to feed you and see you safely on the way to your destination, despite dangerous language barriers that somehow result in you eating roast snake in a disgusting local concoction that brings tears to your eyes but you bravely force down whilst hiding the tears by smiling blindly at everything around you. And of course, ending up staying with said woman overnight as you miss your transport while you're busy throwing up. The other types of experiences are the ones I want to write about - the families I'm part of, at home with, and welcomed into anytime I should return.  

I've been adopted throughout my travels, more times than I can mention. Firstly in Burma, where I lived with a family in Yangon, despite the fact that my family were risking trouble with their government for hosting me illegally. Apart from the fact that it's plainly ridiculous for the government to regulate the visitors you can and can't have in your private home, it makes me feel warm to know that people who barely knew me at the time were willing to have me, despite the potential dangers to their safety. I imagine the attraction for them was the same for me - a cultural exchange, where we could ask, observe and learn about each others' lifestyles. They took me to Naypidaw, to stay in a tiny village with no electricity, or vehicles where we actually got into trouble with the local police/immigration officials who did not want me to stay with the family. They (the ten officials present) all took notes, by candlelight, as me and my family were asked every ridiculous question under the sun, and then some. After 90 minutes of this ridiculous façade, where they accused my lovely sister of taking me away from the other tourists for "mercenary" reasons (we suspect they don't allow home stays because it loses hotel tax money for the government) we were allowed to leave. I was escorted to an expensive hotel.

Eating with my brother and sister

Despite the problems we had I was so happy living in that simple Burmese home. To me it represented so much - the previously oppressed country had become free enough that I was able to be there. Not only that, but interacting with locals who mostly have never seen a Westerner before was an incredibly refreshing experience. Anywhere else on the tourist circuit of South East Asia - you step off the bus and the people who are hanging out to sell something spot you and make a beeline for you. In Burma, the people stopped pestering the locals just to stare at your white skin! They didn't even try to sell me any cigarettes. You can imagine what living with them was like - learning that my mother didn't believe me when I told them I had washed (Burmese people are so modest, that even when they are in a locked bathroom with four complete walls and a ceiling, they don't get naked to shower. They wear a longyi - something like a sarong - wrapped around their bodies which washes with them.) Every time I came out of the bathroom after a shower, my mother would expect to see wet clothes, which I always failed to produce. She would repeatedly ask me if I'd had my shower, even though I thought it was obvious because I'd just come out with wet hair and a damp towel. Eventually I had to resort to hand washing my clothes during my shower so she wouldn't keep asking. 

And of course, they wanted to know so much about my life in England - which team did I support, do my brothers look like One Direction and how much is a watermelon in England? Unfortuntely, I answered incorrectly, which meant that I had a 3.30am wake-up call to come and watch the live match between  'my team' and someone else - as if I know anything about football...naturally I declined and went back to sleep. I learnt how to cook some Burmese meals with my mother, got driven around by my father in his taxi (I also tried to drive the car...a right hand drive vehicle on the right hand side of the road which makes it a lot more complicated than normal driving) got taken to temples, parks, amusement arcades (my young brother) and had such a brilliant time with them that I nearly missed my flight out of the country.


Here on Furthur, the family is best summed up as,'...the place where the most ridiculous and least respectable things in the world go on.' (Ugo Betti). For sure, this is a more accurate definition of the times we share, as a unit on this boat. My Furthur family is growing at a crazy rate - in the last eight months on board I've seen over 30 crew members come and go - sometimes they come for a week after we pick them up in a bar - and sometimes it's arranged through FAC and they stay for three months. Always interesting people, they come from a variety of different backgrounds and jobs in their real lives; teachers, translators, biologists, midwives, doctors, whale researchers, massage therapists and entrepreneurs. One of the translators, Siem, from Holland, recently adopted me as a 'younger brother', which meant actual beatings every day...I let her win sometimes.



One of the full boats we've had - with some great crew

Interestingly, many people assume on first meeting us that Brian and I are actually related - and that he is my real dad. Brian usually responds 'I must be hiding an exceptionally tall [beautiful, smart, lovely] wife somewhere in London'. Although this isn't  technically true (Brian admits he would probably raise serial killers if he was responsible for a kids' upbringing) I feel that that's the most accurate description of our relationship.

My Thai family are very close to my heart. They took me in whilst I was teaching at the same school as Kru Koy, a lovely young mother, who lived on 'the farm' with her parents, her husband, her aunt and uncle, and all of the assorted children and employees (it's actually a shrimp farm with a restaurant attached). It took me about 2 seconds to love the kids - Monster (actually named 'Mulberry' in Thai), brothers Beem and BenTen, their cousins, Til and Milk - an 18year old student who became my very good friend. I spent so many happy evenings playing with kids at the farm after school. There was always something going on that they wanted me to join in - a festival, a party, a religious ceremony, a birthday or a day trip. I had a very emotional day when I left Chiang Rai - not only did I have to say goodbye to all my students and fellow teachers, but also my wonderful family at the farm. I'm not sure I've ever been so sad. Most of my best memories from my time in Chiang Rai involve this collection of people.



After a night/day trip to see the sunrise at Phu Chi Fa, a nearby mountain

These are only three examples of the families I have found myself part of during every day of my travels. My biggest wish is to be able to return the hospitality someday - whether my entire families can visit London or not (or anywhere else I might be living) I would love to be able to host as many of them as can make it, and take care of them as well as they've taken care of me.

Begin at the Beginning

Some of you may be wondering: how did that strange girl that writes too much get to where she is now? From rainy old London to a boat in Malaysia in the middle of a storm. In a nutshell, this is how it happened: My parents had sex around 24 years and five months ago.
TMI,sorry.

Well after working enough to save up a little bit of money (my thanks to Cote Brasserie and the Foxman!) I was wondering how far around the world you could get for the lowest amount of money. Skyscanner helped me with this - they had flights to Bangkok from London for 300GBP. Kate had given me a wonderful book for my birthday - pictures and a short description of every country in the world. I flipped to the page on Thailand: beautiful beaches, stunning lady boys and strange food. It sounded like a great place to start! I booked my ticket, singular, that night. I didn't really consider how much* time you need to get organised for a round the world trip - I figured one month was long enough for me to give my notice and have some jabs. Apart from missing one of the shots, I just about made it to the airport in time! 


In the local supermarket...

My adventures in Thailand were as much as to be expected - and more! I overdosed on temples pretty quickly, found that although there are some beautiful lady boys out there, there are also some pretty unfortunate ones too, started couchsurfing, met loads of cool people (more on all these adventures later) and before I knew it, my first month was gone! In this time I'd also got my open water and advanced PADI qualifications, attended the obligatory full-moon party and successfully navigated the Bangkok public transport system, on the way to the airport for my second month on the road - in Burma!

Burma was very special - this is where I was adopted for the first time, met some truly incredible and inspirational individuals, saw the temples at Bagan, went swimming in lake Inle, got into trouble with the immigration officials at Naypyidaw and went back in time, to a place where the locals didn't bother with modern inconveniences like tractors, or electricity. I also had the most fun I've probably ever had - before or after - during Thingyuan (Burmese New Year festival) which was pretty much a nation wide water fight. It was a short flight back to Thailand, but such an extreme difference in the development of the two neighboring countries. 



Teaching colours, using Twister

Back to Thailand, then, for some air conditioned 7/11 treats. I took the train up north, and spent some time hanging out in Chiang Mai, before taking the bus to Chiang Rai, and settling here for the next 10 months or so as I found a school that was willing to let me teach their students (I'm still not sure why they let me). I had a fantastic time here, learning a lot more about Thai culture than you could ever find in a book, making friends, adopting families and hopefully teaching somebody something. 

I had some holidays in this time - a month I spent in Lao, making new friends, and meeting some old, whilst kayaking, rock climbing, visiting waterfalls, sustaining the worst injury of this trip so far (broken finger - thanks to the excellent Nurse Lauren, it's only slightly wonky now), tubing, doing some cultural stuff, like going to Phonsavan and seeing the plain of Jars, plus the caves at Vieng Xai. I was lucky to be in Vientiane, applying for my Thai visa, whilst the beautiful Lao Loi Krathong festival was in full force. I made my way back to Thailand (in time to see the festival all over again) and back to school. 

Riding a water buffalo, of course.

"Gravity works like this..."

I started to make plans for moving on - a fellow traveller had told me about findacrew.net, and I eagerly set up a profile, although I didn't have much of an expectation - I thought it would be another of those things I am endlessly signing up for, only to unsubscribe six months later when you realise your inbox is full of junk emails you've stopped opening. Happily, I couldn't have been more wrong if I'd tried. I got in touch with Captain Brian, of Furthur - we met up at New years in Phuket, and I delayed my return to school so I could join the trip to the Similan Islands for diving - something I am very glad I did. I met some other crew whilst here - Julie and Anya, my first companions on the boat.

Beautiful beach at Koh Raja

That beautiful holiday ended all too soon - back up north for another few months of 'teaching'. When school had finished for good, I made the 24hour bus journey - 1000 miles! - back down to Phuket, where the boat was waiting in Royal Phuket Marina, ready to cruise again. New crew this time, but the journey was just as fantastic, as well as some more incredible diving around Koh Ha, Racha Yai/Noi, Hin Deang and Hin Mueng and on, towards Malaysia. 

The rest of the last eight months have flown by - we've done some amazing things, met awesome people - not to mention the diving! - and cruised down the length of Malaysia, past Singapore all the way to Flores in Indonesia, before changing direction to head up around the coast of Borneo. 

"Room for one more?"

Boat travel suits me very well - I'm a lazy backpacker, and being able to sleep in one bed, yet have a different view nearly every day is incredible. It's a fantastic way to get around, especially all these archipelagos that are made of thousands of islands. I can't wait to get to the Philippines and see another new country, both above and below the water. Making a profile on find a crew has been one of the smartest things I've done on this trip so far. Maybe the best part is that long bus rides are now optional!


Now you know where I am, and how I got here. I aim to write about everything that I've previously done on this trip, as well as all the exciting new things.

*There's so much else you have to do! 
- Vaccinations (I got rabies, Hep A and B, yellow fever, a tetanus booster and unfortunately, a completely pointless and expensive Japanese B encephalitis shot. I also picked up lots of anti-malarials).
- Start a travel blog (Ha! Who has time for that before you leave?) 
- Go shopping. Seriously, I barely had any of the necessary stuff: a good first aid kit, walking boots, a big backpack, a raincoat, travel proof clothes - e.g. quick drying, wrinkle proof lightweight clothing. If you can find something that looks good and also has UV protection built in, you get extra points! Also a travel towel - mine is an attractive shade of puke green, but was a bargain. Most important on your list: a sleeping bag liner - if made of tightly woven silk these things stop bed bugs from biting you, and anyone that's ever been bitten will tell you what a horrific experience that is.
- Some things I took that I've barely used - a sleeping bag, waterproof matches (actually I used those up really quickly lighting mosquito coils), and the new raincoat.
- Organising travel documents - visas etc, making sure your passport has enough pages/years left on it. It's a good idea to scan and save an electronic copy of all these things in case you find yourself in a situation without your passport. 
- Changing money - there are some bank accounts you can set up from home that allow you to exchange your money before you leave so you won't be charged with a terrible rate every time you hit up an ATM when you're on the road. This is probably most useful if you're going to the US, Australia or New Zealand (I didn't find them in any other currencies). Otherwise it's a good idea to travel with some back up cash, in case you get stranded/have an emergency/lose your bank card. 
- Saying goodbye. Organising one big party/event and hoping everyone can be there would have been a sensible way to do it, if you can spare some cash from your travel budget.
- Planning an itinerary. Although this is definitely optional, and I've never been very good at it, it's nice to know where you're heading from the airport at least. 

Good luck and safe travels!

Would you make a good crew member?

 

Findacrew.net does an excellent job of allowing boats and potential crew to get in touch with each other. Before you get on a boat however, this is just a short survey to find out if you will do well at sea. I've seen from Brian's point of view how hard it is to know what makes a good crew member based only on a profile, when the crew has no experience and idea of whether they can do it or not. It can be a frustrating experience for crew too, if they travel a long way only to get to the boat and realise they are not so well suited to the nautical life. Hopefully, this questionnaire will help you and potential boats from making any commitments if this isn't really your thing. Write your answers on a piece of paper (scores are at the end). And no cheating!

1) Have you ever worked in a bar or restaurant (and been good at it)?    

2) Can you read a book in a moving vehicle? (Don't try this while you're behind the wheel!)  

3) Are you allergic to fresh air or sunshine?  

4) Can you swim?      

5) How many miles, on average, do you like to run every day?
a) Less than 1        
b) between 1 and 3 
c) More than 3

6) What is your opinion of books?
a) I hate reading, unless it's Cosmo.        
b) The only reading I do is this blog while I'm connected to the internet.
c) Reading books is my favourite hobby

7) Which statement is most true of you:
a) A quick wash once a day is enough
b) I shower when I notice that I'm starting to smell
c) I shower three times a day if I have time.

Plus some questions specific to this boat - 

8) Which of these mugs can you not use, ever, on pain of death?
a) Furthur Adventures (left)
b) Best Crew Award - Sam 2013 (middle)
c) Breakfast in the Buff, Boulder Colorado (right)

9) When is the best time to play a prank on Brian?
a) when he is sleeping     b) I would never do that!            c) Anytime.

10) Which statement best suits you:
a) I enjoy watching tv and get angry if someone disturbs my concentration.
b) I fall asleep during anything I watch.
c) I have no short term concentration at all. I have to constantly be doing something. 

The results:

1) Yes = 10     No = 0 (I've noticed the crew we've had who have previously worked in a small bar/restaurant/close team atmosphere are much better at looking around and seeing the jobs that have to be done, and getting on and doing them. It's a nicer environment for everyone if they can all work together and do some jobs without needing to be told)

2) Yes = 10     No = 0 

3) Yes = 0     No = 5 

4) Yes = 200 No = - 50

5) a) 5 
    b) 0
    c) - 5 
Although it's good to keep fit, if you're a gym junkie you'll struggle to find enough exercise room on a small boat. Yoga would be a good thing to take up before embarking on that month long passage. 

6) a) - 5
b) 5: You get points for having excellent taste, but you might find it difficult being in remote areas with little connectivity - and not knowing when you will have a good enough connection to look at all those cat videos on Youtube.
c) 10

7) Which statement is most true of you?
a) 10
b)  20 (unless you smell so much that everyone else can notice it)
c) - 10
Water is a limited resource, especially on a boat!

8) Which mug can you never use?
a) 20
b) 0
c) 0

9) When is the best time to play a prank on Brian?
a) 15  
b) - 10
c) 50

10) Which statement best suits you? 
a) 10
b) 10 (as long as you don't snore)
c) 0 (fidgets don't want to hang around while Brian is getting his daily t.v. fix. Go upstairs/downstairs and clean the boat, or read a book).

Well done for finishing! 
Top score: 340 : Congratulations if this was you!
bottom score: - 80: Maybe you shouldn't go near the water.

If you did well and have decided that being on water is the place you need to be, there is a key question you should ask your captain before you embark.

Your trip sounds incredible and nearly too good to be true! I hope you won't be offended by me asking this: Do you have the funds to complete this trip?

A good captain should not be upset by this question - it shows you're an intelligent person, aware of the dangers of getting on an unknown boat. I've heard some horror stories of crew being stranded in a really remote place when the boat has needed to be fixed, the Captain has run out of money, and asks the crew to give financial assistance or to email their parents if they don't have enough. Although you might have an agreement with your captain that you'll cover your costs for food etc, you probably don't want to be in a position where you or your parents are asked for hundreds, or thousands of dollars just so you can get to the next port. It's worth asking, just to avoid future difficulties.

My Favourite Things II

There were a lot of things that should have been on the last list, but were somehow missed out. Here's a few more of my favourite things we've done in the last 8 months on Furthur:

1) Swimming with a turtle. We'd anchored the boat for the night out in the Similan Islands, and finished diving for the day. This giant turtle appeared (possibly looking for dinner to be thrown overboard) and swam around the boat for over an hour. We watched, delighted, as he stayed in the area and came close to check us out. Eventually, I slipped quietly into the water to get a closer view as he passed by. A very special moment for me.

2) NYE at Patong Beach, Phuket - hanging out at Paris Hilton's party, stealing life jackets, drinking whiskey on the beach at six am, going to a special adult's show, having our hair sprayed full of silly string and generally acting like teenage delinquents. What a night!

3) Penang - Rosie and I were shown around Georgetown at night by an infamous ex-crew member, Troy, (oh the stories I've heard!) who was an absolute gentleman in the way he  helped us climb over the fence of a temple we broke into (not that I'd encourage that kind of behavior, but the twilight vistas from Kek Lok Si are absolutely fantastic), politely introduced us to the local mafia, gallantly helped us to get drunk, offered his arm as we stumbled around Little India and escorted us back to the boat, all before 4am!

4) Practical jokes, especially the ones that surprise Brian. He's a great target during nap time. Unfortunately these things work both ways, so I'll use the photo of the only successful prank Brian's played on me - waking up with a face covered in shaving cream, to the laughter of Sandra, Anna, Rosie and Venus. Thanks for the support, guys. 

"It doesn't count if you do it before 9am!"

5) Spending all night star gazing, with the help of a neat little Stargazer app on Venus' tablet. It cleverly uses GPS to work out what you're looking at, and helpfully labels all the constellations, planets and some individual stars. There is nothing so fantastic as doing this on the deck of a ship, in absolute darkness, miles and miles from the nearest source of light pollution. 



6) Komodo village - visiting this extremely poor area, where we make a donation to the school, stroll around the houses built on stilts and of course, make balloon animals for children. Brian starts this process - everyone else quickly becomes involved as demand far exceeds output.

"Well how do these things work anyway?"

7) Helping the students from SMK Marine School in Labuan Bajo study. Although they have the strongest desire to learn the skills needed in the nautical world, the school doesn't have very good resources and can use any help they can get. Which is why they let Brian teach some classes. Only joking! He did a fantastic job, and even took out several groups of students on the boat, giving them an opportunity to navigate and steer by themselves - they were thrilled. 

A selection of kids, teachers and crew

8) Flying a pirate ship kite from a boat. One of the neatest purchases to be had in Bali - 50,000 IDR. And worth 10x that in terms of the fun we've had with it. Because we're six years old. And obviously way too cool. Kate, Del and Ronnie.

9) Finding out what was the point in the packet of mustaches my mum sent. Like I said, very cool six year olds. 

10) Watching dolphins fly through the waves beneath the boat. Along with all the other wildlife we get to see on a daily basis, like sea eagles, whales, flying fish, monkeys (swimming monkeys!), Komodo dragons etc 

Hopefully there will be some equally amazing activities, fun crew and more dolphins in my last few months here on the boat.

My Favourite Things

Other than mittens, kittens and brown paper parcels tied up with string, these are a few of my favourite things (in no particular order):

1) Sending a message in a bottle which I still hope we'll hear back from, one day twenty years from now. We wrote the note in 4 languages (to increase our chances of it being found and understood. Italian, Greek, English and a poorly translated Indonesian, that probably means something like: "You bottle look. Email deliver. Before thanks you." I did try though.)

2) Something the inner child (which is not kept so inner) had wanted to do for ages: Build a den on the deck from all our scarves, blankets, flags etc and spend the night camped out there. Or as much as I could manage before I got too cold! The rest of Team GB managed admirably though.

Rise and shine! Delina and Ronnie

3) The Indian festival of Holi - a little late and a lot more naked than the original. Partying on the beach with Laura, Rosie and Brian.










4) Another example of being in the right place at the right time: Pulau Derawan, where we wandered around the sandy roads and found ourselves in a hotel which had discovered turtle hatchlings in their grounds. Emily, Siem, Lo and I managed to convince them to let us help with the release.

In the same night we also rescued a beautiful moth that had been attracted by the light in a shop and was damaging itself flying into the walls. This was also our first meal on shore, in what felt like weeks! Actually, maybe it was just the one.

It was unfortunate we didn't get to stay longer at Derawan - it is a beautiful island with well maintained moorings and plenty of dive sites on the surrounding islands. I will hopefully come back some day.  

5) Koh Hong - which must be one of the most perfect destinations in the world for early morning beach yoga - after kayaking with Rosie through an 800m cave entrance to the hidden lagoon in the centre. Completely sheltered by the surrounding karst mountains it was a blissful experience to be there before the hordes.


6) Watching Rachel's incredible fire stick dance on the beach at Gili Air.

Miss Rachel

7) The Great British Beach clean-up! Unfortunately no pictures of this back-breaking, feet-scorching work, in which we cleared half of the long stretch of beach of discarded flipflops, lighters, plastic cups, bottles, lightbulbs, toothbrushes and many other assorted types of junk. Well done Delina, Kateface and Ronnie!

8) Becoming proficient at various arts and crafts - carving coconut jewellery, henna and making batik (and all the tidying up afterwards!) Thanks to all the people that let me practise henna on them :-)

One of my first attempts at Batik, turned into a cushion!



9)Sail Komodo. Getting involved in this rally was great fun and an opportunity to dress up for once! We went to a dinner with the President of Indonesia, plus all the other local bigwigs.



Being part of a sail pass during Sail Komodo.



10) Owning part of an aeroplane thanks to a big adventure in Bali with a nutty Italian, Laura!


On the navy boat with our new friends.




The Lion Air jet wreckage at Bali

These are just a few examples of all the boat-related activites we've done in the last six months. Obviously I haven't included any diving otherwise I'd still be writing now.